


Someday, The Dark Clouds Will Pass

by teenuviel1227



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Side BriYeon, Side JaeHyerim, Some smut but nothing graphic, long term love, sort of a slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-29 20:31:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15081155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenuviel1227/pseuds/teenuviel1227
Summary: In which Jae and Brian are have been in love with each other since Freshman year and resolve to see each other at least once a year, celebrating the day that they met, but never quite get together until on one of their anniversaries, Brian announces he’s about to get married--and they’re given one last chance.Or, a Jaehyungparkian adaptation of One Day by David Nicholls in like, 2-year intervals, and they end up together because it’s Jae and Brian.





	1. 2014

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kangdanna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kangdanna/gifts).



> This one is for Dana, who is the biggest Jaehyungarkian fan and who has become one of my closest friends in this fandom. :) Hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Also, for reference: https://twitter.com/bambooF7Y/status/1011901933840265217?s=19

Brian doesn’t know what it is about Jae, exactly--it isn’t love the way that he’s seen love shown on TV shows or in the dramas and films that he grew up watching, isn’t the kind of love sung about in songs: it isn’t that his heart is pounding or that he’s nervous or that his skin is on fire. It’s a lot quieter than that. It’s knowing that he doesn’t want their time to end, knowing that he just likes  _ this _ , likes being in their room with the books stacked against the walls (now packed in boxes) and vinyls and CDs and old games tossed together in an old hamper (now divided neatly between them, half-packed into suitcases and backpacks), likes the way that when he wakes up in the morning he’ll know that across from his own single bed is going to be Jae’s duvet-covered silhouette, face half-covered by fabric, the top half of his face barely visible: an adorable flurry of mussed hair, eyes shut in slumber. 

He likes the way that no matter what--even if Brian has a date that night or if Jae has one of his Polisci society meetings or if Brian has band practice or if Jae has a talk to go to, every Saturday they’ll both come home before midnight to haul their dirty laundry up the street to the laundromat where they’ll spend the next hour and a half reading side-by-side, both snacking on the same bag of chips, after which they’ll head over to one of the smaller korean restaurants to chow down on a taste of home: splitting tteokbokki and fried chicken and rice (plain--because of Jae’s allergies which Brian’s gotten used to) between them. He’s gotten used to these cadences, these small rhythms, is paralyzed with the realization that in exactly a week, they’ll cease to exist. 

Throughout college Brian’s dated people like he’s always dated people--just a part of everyday life, an element to be fulfilled: you had food, clothing, shelter, an education, a passion, friends, a special someone. Boys, girls, boys who liked to dress like girls, girls who identified as boys: Brian fell in love with personalities. And now, a week before graduation, as he’s packing away photos of him and Jae, he can’t help but wonder if he’s missed the person who’s been right under his nose all this time. Teary-eyed, Brian sets aside old Instax pictures taken Sophomore Year at a mixer of Sungjin’s Film Club that they’d crashed and ended up getting trashed at, a couple of 2x2 ID photos that they’d collaged into a newspaper mugshot, and the photograph that had been magnet-stuck to their fridge since Freshman year, so long that there was a permanent round indentation where the magnet held it up. In the photograph, Brian is smiling with his eyes squinting into crescent moons, fingers held up in a peace sign; Jae has an arm around his shoulders, is smirking and trying to look cool--a hopeless cause because he’s wearing giant reflective shades and a shirt studded with Hawaiian print. Brian touches the photograph, smiling softly as he remembers how drunk they’d gotten that night, how they’d hogged the karaoke machine until someone called the cops--carefully, he slips it between the pages of his favorite book (The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery).

For safekeeping. 

“Hey, loser.” 

The door opens and Brian jumps as Jae walks into the room, rubbing his hands together from the cold. He takes off his scarf, his coat, tosses them onto the bed in a way that warms Brian’s heart, a way that’s so familiar, so taken for granted, for the moment he feels he needs it like air. Brian smiles as he watches Jae wipe the fog off of his gold-rimmed round glasses on the hem of his sweater before putting them back on and plopping onto his bed. 

“Did you buy me food?”

Jae lets out a sigh of mock-exasperation (which Brian knows means yes) before handing Brian a take-out bag from their favorite burger place in town. It’s still warm and just by feeling what’s inside, by the heft and shape of it, Brian knows Jae’s known to get him his favorite criss-cut fries and two servings of ketchup. 

“Thanks.” 

“I know I’m the most reliable person in the world,” Jae says, a grin spreading like sunrise on his face. 

Brian rolls his eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head.” 

“What’s this--” Jae loves, pulling Brian’s copy of The Little Prince out from under him. The photograph of them falls out and the sentence dies on Jae’s lips. He picks up the photograph and Brian sees his face change--sees the sentiment ripple through him. “--September 12th 2010.”

“Hey, that’s--”

“--four years tonight. That was the first night we spent here and I thought that we’d hate each other--”

“--no,” Brian says, scooting closer to lean his head on Jae’s shoulder. “You thought that  _ I  _ hated  _ you _ but--”

Jae smiles, tracing Brian’s face in the photograph just as Brian had done moments ago. He knows how the story goes from the number of times they’ve told it to each other, to their friends. 

“--but you actually thought I was cool. And we went out for my birthday.” 

Brian smiles then, looks up at Jae and wonders if he’s thinking the same thing Brian’s thinking. He takes a breath, decides to be brave. 

“I still do.”

“Bri--” Jae’s cheeks are tinged pink. Brian knows that if he raised a palm to them, they’d be warm. 

“I mean it,” Brian says, putting his burger down, forgetting about the hunger, about the weather, about everything that isn’t Jae. “You’re--the best person that I’ve ever met, pretty much.” 

Jae meets his gaze, then, his expression serious. 

Brian smiles. “What?”

Jae chews on his lower lip--a nervous tick.

“I--I mean. Well. You and I--” 

“--yeah?” Brian asks, hoping this is what he thinks it is.

“--I mean. We never--I mean I--really--you know how you make waffles every Sunday morning--”

“--yeah,” Brian says, smiling at how nervous Jae is. 

“I guess what I mean to say is that--I waffle--I waffles you--” 

“--well.” Brian moves so that they’re facing each other, knees touching. He leans in closer, closer until the smallest of nudges would push them together, moves closer, until the tips of their noses brush, until the distance between them is bridged in a soft kiss. “I waffles you too.” 

  
  


The rest of the week goes by in a strange kind of haze, like light shining through a fog--both of them knowing time is going to be up soon, both of them already knowing the other’s plans (Jae making for Los Angeles to take on an internship in Political science, Brian heading to New York to pursue a talk show opportunity) but choosing to set that knowledge aside for the time being. 

They go through every routine like it’s sacred, knowing that soon it won’t be theirs to have, to take for granted: Brian waking up earlier than usual to take in the way that Jae looks snuggled under the blankets, blonde hair a mess against the pillowcase, Brian getting up to make them breakfast, Jae pretending to be asleep a moment longer to listen to the small sounds that Brian’s movements make--the softness of a footstep against the wooden floor, the clink of a coffee cup against the kitchen table; Jae savoring the way that Brian feels sitting on the floor between his knees as they spend afternoons reading comics, magazines, snacking on chips settled between them. At night, for the most part, they kiss: let themselves explore the warmth, the taste, the softness of each other--lust fires up in both of them, but they leave it be for now, Brian unsure how far Jae is comfortable with going, Jae not wanting to ask too much of the moment, not wanting either of them to feel indebted to the other for promises they aren’t ready to make. 

They spend Jae’s birthday on a hill overlooking the city, a blanket spread out beneath them. The night is cool and crisp but clear, the stars shining. Brian’s brought a small cupcake--Vanilla, Jae’s favorite, but frosted in ice-blue and dappled with assorted sprinkles. He takes his lighter out and sets a small, silver candle ablaze atop the icing. 

“Make a wish."

Jae grins but doesn’t bother to close his eyes before making a wish: they both know what he wants, they’re both holding their breath hoping for it. 

  
  


Their last day together is spent in their room, cuddling with the blinds rolled down but flipped open so that sunlight fills Brian’s bed, on which both of them lay holding each other. Brian watches Jae with his small idiosyncrasies--his eye twitching a bit when he smiles, his hoarse way of saying Brian’s name whenever he makes him laugh--and tries to memorize everything for the long days ahead. Jae maps out the territory of Brian’s face: those sly eyes, that mischievious mouth, that voice that Brian uses only for him--deep and quiet and serious-sounding even when he’s saying something funny. 

“Jae?”

“Mmmm?”

“We won’t let time tear us apart, will we?”

“Pshhhh,” Jae says, rolling his eyes. “I’d like to see it try.” 

Brian grins but his expression remains worried. “I mean it. A lot of people say that they’ll stay in touch and I mean--I know us, I know more than to ask for something committed or whatever. We’re both ambitious, we both have dreams and I love you but I know that there’s a lot more out there for both of us--”

“--Bri--”

“--hold on, let me finish.” Brian takes a breath. “And your friendship means the world to me. More than anything romantic, I don’t think I could bear to have that be taken away. So when we go tomorrow, kiss me goodbye and promise me that we’ll stay in touch, that we’ll see each other--”

“--at least once a year,” Jae says, cutting him off, punctuating his sentence with a soft kiss planted on the corner of Brian’s mouth. “Let’s promise we’ll keep in touch and see each other once a year on our anniversary. September 12th.”

Brian smiles, stroking Jae’s cheek. “Alright. I swear. We’ll see each other every year on our anniversary--no matter who we’re dating or what we’re doing or whatever the circumstances. If one of us can’t make it, the other will find a way. Kapish?”

Jae nods. “Kapish.” 

They kiss soft and slow, holding each other close until they fall asleep. And when Brian wakes up in the morning, Jae is gone, only a note left on what used to be his bed. 

_ See you in a year. I waffles you--don't you forget that. _


	2. 2016, 2018

_2016_

 

“Well, will you look at that.” Jae grins, leaning back on the bed as Brian flicks the TV to the network playing the show he writes for. “A star is born.”

Brian grins, proud, as at the corner of the screen he shows up for about a split-second during the segment changes; he’s holding up the sign indicating the switch from the interview portion to the games portion of the evening. Jae smiles, his heart filling with pride as he sees how good Brian looks on camera, how deserving he is of that small bit of air-time, how he just knows that Brian is going to be on that show--or, well, _a_ show of his own soon, if everything goes well.

“You look amazing on-cam, Bri.” Jae says, trying to keep the gush out of his voice and failing miserably. “Not that I’m surprised.”

He glances at Brian. _Nothing compared to the real thing, though._

“Geez, Jae.”

Brian’s cheeks are flushed pink and Jae isn’t quite sure if it’s from the champagne they’ve been drinking or if, like him, Brian’s thoughts are still on last year’s celebration, still on that night in Baja last year when they’d met up and found themselves on the beach, both stupid-drunk enough to say things they might regret but not drunk enough to forget them.

 _We could give it a shot,_ Brian had said as they’d lain on the sand, his hand on top of Jae’s, fingers slowly interlacing with his. _Like, a real shot. Not a college try. A...post-graduate try._

They’d laughed, then, the sound of their mingled glee echoing across the empty beach. They’d looked into each others eyes, Brian’s hopeful, Jae’s afraid of what he knew he was going to say in reply.

Jae had been hesitant, had been unsure if it was a good idea: a year apart and both of them had become entrenched in separate lives. Brian had just gotten a small writing job on the show, one that actually _paid_ for his writing as opposed to the executive assistant gig it had begun as which paid a hair over minimum wage, and Jae had just signed off on a year-long contract doing research for a law firm.

 _I want to,_ he’d said, fingers skimming the breadth of Brian’s palm before he laid it on his cheek. _But I don’t think it’s the right time, Bri. I think we both need to work on our own things first._

 _Yeah,_ Brian had said, turning to lie on his back and look up at the sky. _Yeah, I suppose._

The sadness in his voice had broken Jae’s heart into a million pieces--but now, watching Brian on TV, watching him succeed, hearing all of these stories about how the network executives had enjoyed his writing, had liked his screen tests, had signed him on for an additional 24 months, Jae can’t help but feel like his--their--sacrifice had been validated, warranted. To see Brian succeed like this is something else: like spotting a shooting star and knowing exactly what to wish for, like diving for a penny and closing your eyes in the water but feeling the coin swim right into your grasp.

Jae smiles.

A lot happens over a year.

Now, as they sit on the bed in a fancy suite in Manhattan, one that Brian had insisted on paying for with money saved up from his new gig, Jae thinks that he could very well enjoy life here, that he could get used to the hustle and bustle of the east coast, that he could move here and fall in love with the city. Earlier, as he and Brian had eaten dinner downtown, he imagined himself getting into a cab with take-out for himself and Brian every night, as they’d taken the subway back to the hotel, he imagined himself riding the train to his job every morning, knowing that he’d come from Brian’s apartment, smelling like his aftershave, wearing a tie borrowed without asking, knowing that they’d begun their life together.

Now, he watches Brian bounce on the bed as he makes his way to the ice bucket on the nightstand where the bottle of bubbly sits and feels that familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach: that feeling he gets every time he’s on a plane and it’s about to take flight--like he’s headed exactly where he’s supposed to be.

Brian Kang: honeyed skin, dark hair parted to the side, smile like a sunrise, his bestfriend, the love of his life.

“Will you kill me if I put ice _in_ the champagne?” Brian asks, grinning. “It’s not cold enough yet.”

Jae laughs, shrugs. “I won’t tell anyone.”

From the moment they’d first met, Jae had always found it strange that Brian had thought he was cool, had never quite been able to believe it. When he’d first laid eyes on Brian Kang, all chic with his then-silver hair styled in an undercut, wearing his hoop-earrings, plaid shirt and dark jeans ripped at the knees, Jae had wondered why the universe had decided to screw him over. In high school, he’d never really gotten along with the cool kids--they’d bullied him, jerked him around, and so many of those kids looked like Brian. Gorgeous, spoiled rich kids with too much money and not enough human compassion, a shit ton of ego and not enough kindness and consideration for others. They were kids who were only nice to you when they needed you to do their homework, but would one hundred percent pour a bottle of honey and fire ants into your locker just for kicks.

And then Brian had cracked a joke about Spongebob, had done his impression of Patrick Star to ask Jae what his major was. And then Brian had proceeded to help Jae with his box of vinyls and ooh and ahh at the variety of records that he owned-- _wow_ after _wow_ after _wowwww_ punctuated with a _goddamn, you’re so cool._ And then Brian had won his heart by taking him out for birthday drinks--it was Jae’s first time every celebrating his birthday with people who weren’t family, his first time ever having _fun_ on his birthday.

And then Brian had turned out to be his favorite person in the world--and Jae his.

Now, finally, Jae’s ready to fight for that, to treat whatever this _thing_ with Brian is not as a circumstance but as the axis of his life. His contract expired the day before he’d flown in. He’s saved up money, has saved a list of jobs in and around Manhattan to be closer to Brian.

Brian plops back onto the bed, some of the champagne getting on his suit.

“Hey, Bri?”

“Hrrrm?”

“Can we turn the TV off a second?”

“Yeah, sure.” Brian reaches for the remote, turns the TV off. “What?”

Jae takes a deep breath. “Okay, I have some news.”

Brian grins. “Me too. Okay, no wait--you first.”

Jae blinks. “Nah, you first. Mine’s kind of major.”

“Alright,” Brian says, grinning. “Well. I’m seeing someone and I’m convinced I’ve met my soulmate. Like. You won’t freaking believe it. We have so much in common! She loves music, I love music. We’re the same age, she used to play in a band too, and of course, I mean, as for how I met her--we work on the show together. She’s so damn cool.”

“Oh,” Jae says. He feels like he’s been slapped. “Yeah. Wow! That’s awesome news. I’m so happy for you, Bri. You introducing her to me this weekend or what?”

Brian lets out a sigh of relief, puts a hand over Jae’s. Jae hopes that he can’t tell that he’s shaking, that his palms are clammy with sweat.

“Thank god it isn’t weird.”

Jae does his best to smile without hesitating, without giving himself away.

“Why would it be weird?”

“Well, you know,” Brian says. “Because we were in love.”

 _Were._ The past tense hits Jae like a bullet.

“Ah, well.” Jae grins. “Everything has a season. I’m happy for you.”

Brian beams. “Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me. Now, what were you going to say?”

Jae shrugs. “It seems minor compared to _soulmate._ I’m switching jobs!”

Brian gives his shoulder a small nudge. “That’s not minor. Nothing you do is minor. You’re the best.”

Jae smiles sadly, takes a sip from his champagne.

_Then why aren’t you with me?_

  


It’s strange, meeting Ayeon for the first time, because there’s something vaguely familiar about her--something both striking and commonplace that Jae can’t quite put his finger on. She’s funny: witty and sweet, fierce and endearing at the same time. Her hair is piled on top of her head in a stylish bun that’s messy-on-purpose. She’s wearing silver cat-eye shades and a white boho-style dress and sleek, brown boots. Brian is wearing a black leather jacket ovet one of his graphic concert shirts tucked into deep blue denims double-cuffed over Converse sneakers. Jae takes the sight of them in--they look perfect. _The_ poster kids for Manhattan-on-the-weekdays, Brooklyn-on-the-weekends.

Jae wishes more than ever he hadn’t chosen to wear a sweater. He feels out-of-place, feels like the New York that California people think New York is--which, in a way, he supposes he is.

Brian takes them out to a Chinese restaurant that they both love and it takes Jae a moment to realize that when Brian says _they_ he means him and Ayeon, not him and Jae. An even stranger thing is the way that Jae ends up feeling about her: of everyone that Brian’s ever dated (basically half the populace of the Liberal Arts department, Jae guesses), Jae hasn’t ever both liked and hated someone so much.

On the one hand, he doesn’t think he’s ever met anyone so awesome. She’s pleasant--smart as a whip with the voice of an angel, always has a joke up her sleeve. Like Brian, she’s bilingual: not in the same way that Jae is, which to his mind, is more like dabbling in both languages than mastering either. Ayeon is good at both, has book recommendations to shower him with both in English and in Hangul. She tells Jae about her experiences living back home in Seoul--in that way, she’s a lot more like Brian too, Jae realizes, having spent her childhood there and then moving abroad later on. Jae likes her in that if she wasn’t Brian’s girlfriend, if with every second spent with her, Jae didn’t see his future with Brian slipping further and further out of his grasp, he thinks they would probably be friends.

Jae hates her because she’s perfect--and perfect for Brian. He couldn’t have thought up a better person if he shut his eyes tight and tried. In the past, Jae’s never been jealous of anyone that Brian’s dated, not even that time that he dated the guy from the Calvin Klein ad at the strip mall near campus, who turned out to also be on the swim team. Now, as he listens to Brian and Ayeon talk about different gigs that they’d been to over the past few months, as he spoons another dumpling into his mouth, he realizes that he’s never been jealous before because he’d known that none of those people would keep Brian’s attention for long. He knew that Brian had a mind quick as a ticking bomb--that sooner or later, he would forget about how someone looked and need to sink his teeth into the way that they thought, the things they were interested in.

Jae’s problem with Ayeon is that she’s amazing.

Jae’s problem with Ayeon is that she reminds him of himself.

Between tea and paying for the bill, Brian excuses himself to go to the bathroom and Ayeon and Jae are left at the table. Jae grins, hoping that he doesn’t come off stand-offish or mean--or worse, jealous, which is what he is. Ayeon smiles, props her shades up onto her head.

“Hey, Jae,” she says, reaching over the table and putting a hand over his.

“Yeah?” Jae flinches, caught off guard.

“Look,” she says slowly, weighing her words. “Bri told me about you guys. I mean about the past and I just want you to know that I hope we’ll get along. I hope we can be friends. I know that your word means a lot to him--I swear, I was so nervous thinking about what you might think of me because I know it carries weight with Bri. And. Yeah. You’re really cool and I just wanted to say that I care about him so much--”

Jae feels his heart lurch in his chest--at once, fondness and envy, happiness and a desperate, tearing grief.

“--of course,” Jae says, nodding. “Yeah, you’re awesome. Bri’s a lucky guy. And if it was going to be anyone else, I’m glad it’s you.”

“Okay,” Ayeon says, relieved. “Okay, thank you. That makes me feel so much better.”

Jae smiles sadly. “Good. I mean it.”

And the saddest thing, Jae realizes, is that he does.

  


_2018_

 

“Christ, this is fancy,” Brian says, looking around at the place that Jae’s booked for them. This year, they’re in New Orleans, at one of the historical hotels--Jae’s been given a writing assignment on the week of their reunion so Brian’s decided to file for leave from his talk show (the one that he hosts and that Ayeon produces) to come and join him.

The place that Jae’s booked is a suite with two bedrooms that open up into a common living area with a balcony and historical furnishings. The assignment is for a week and Brian’s decided to come and join him for the whole ride, figuring they could both celebrate their anniversary and Jae’s birthday.

“I think quitting the law firm was probably the best thing that you ever did.”

Jae grins, looking at Brian over the rims of his sunglasses. “Damn right.”

Brian smiles, putting his suitcase down on the wooden floor. He looks at the beautiful room, the antique furnishings, the sunlight streaming in from outside, at Jae plopping down on the couch, legs crossed as he stretches out and reaches for a nearby book. _Home for now._

“So what’s on the itinerary?” Brian asks.

Jae shrugs. “The official itinerary starts tomorrow. We have tonight free. What do you feel like doing?”

Brian hesitates, wondering what to say, hoping that this year won’t be like the last. The year before had been the most awkward that he’d ever been with Jae--that they’d been with each other. Brian had flown to Boston where Jae was living after leaving sunny California, had been caught off-guard at a number of things: first, that Jae had made a career change and had been writing for a travel magazine for eight months without telling him, second, that Jae had been dating someone seriously and hadn’t let him know.

 _What do you mean you’re living with someone?_ Brian had done his best to keep the hurt out of his voice when he’d asked Jae if he could just come over and crash. _Like a roommate?_

 _Like a girlfriend. A girlfriend, actually._ Jae’s voice was strained over the line. _Yeah. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner--I want you to meet her. First dinner that you’re here, we take you out._

At the dinner--which was at an amazing Mexican restaurant with an awesome selection of beers in the arts district--Brian had acted up, much to his shame. He’d been sulky and uncooperative, had refused to turn his charm and candor on even when it was called for--especially when it was called for. Jae had been amazing at the dinner with Ayeon the year before that and every dinner since. But, Brian figured in the aftermath, that was probably because Jae didn’t have feelings for him anymore.

Brian, on the other hand, had found himself circling back to the way that he felt for Jae time and time again, had found himself thinking back to that night all those years ago and what would happen if they’d given it a shot, if they’d decided from the get-go to give themselves a chance. Sometimes, he’d find himself daydreaming about living with Jae out on the coast or right there in the city, both of them living the way they had back in college: warm breakfast, soft laughter, books shared and never asked for back. In those moments, Ayeon would rest her hand on his cheek and kiss his nose, whisper _come back to me_ until he did. And a part of Brian always wondered just how much he could bear, just how much of his heart could take knowing that he would be living his life without Jae.

And then he’d met Hyerim and she was perfect: hair cut into a chic bob, lips rouged classic red, eyes lined in a sleek cat-eye, she had the kind of elegance that you just noticed if she walked into a room. That night, she wore a black sleeveless turtleneck dress cut low on the sides with a slit on either side that went up just the right height so that she looked like the heroine of a Wong Kar Wai film. Brian felt himself swoon with indignance, annoyance that he couldn’t explain. It got even worse when she started to talk because she was funny, easy to get along with, had a quick quip for everything without being snarky or mean.

She was perfect.

It also struck Brian then that it was the first time he’d ever seen Jae with anyone--all the time they’d known each other, it was Brian who’d done the dating, Brian who’d gone out with people and introduced them to Jae, never the other way around. And now here she was: intelligent and classy and funny and goofy and living with Jae and kissing Jae and slipping a dainty hand into Jae’s as they called the waiter for more Margaritas.

After, Jae had dropped Hyerim off and he and Brian had had it out in the car on the way to Brian’s hotel.

_What is wrong with you, dude? Lim’s being so nice. She didn’t just give you an Olive branch, she gave you a whole damn tree. You were such an asshole tonight._

_Well. I just. I don’t like her._

_Very mature, Brian._

Brian had shaken his head, tears threatening to brim over his eyes.

 _You’re not even going to explain?_ Jae had pulled the car over.

_What’s there to say?_

Silence. And then Jae starting the engine up again.

_Sorry would be nice._

Eventually, Brian had come to his senses, had apologized, had written a long e-mail to Jae and called to send Hyerim flowers with a card telling her he’d been terrible and had simply been having a horrible day at work. She’d written him back, saying she understood completely and wouldn’t have him carrying  that baggage around for any longer than he had.

But Brian had--still does: he worries that he and Jae won’t be the same, worries that he’s ruined whatever wonderful thing they’d had before that went beyond romance, went beyond having or owning or having to be with the other. In fact, Brian’s owned up to this realization in the past year: that yes, they’d had their small pocket of time together, that a part of him would always be head over heels in love with Jae, but that life had taken them in different directions, that maybe what they needed from each other wasn’t romance but friendship. And tonight, Brian has big news. The biggest news that he’s ever had to give.

“How about we catch up?” Brian asks finally.

“I’d like that.” Jae smiles a soft smile.

Brian sees his relief mimicked in Jae’s eyes. He grins, sits down next to Jae, their shoulders touching.

“How’ve you been? How’s Lim?”

Jae tenses and then relaxes again, sets his book down. “Oh. Well, we broke up, actually.”

Brian’s eyebrows shoot into his hairline. “Wha--”

To his surprise, Jae lets out a laugh.

“--don’t look so worried. We’re alright. The break up was on good terms and we’re still friends. Better friends now than we were when we were together actually.”

“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

Jae hesitates, turns to look at Brian and Brian is reminded of that first night in their dorm room, when they’d first told one another how they’d felt. He feels a blush creep over his cheeks, feels his heart pounding as he realizes he still wants Jae--still wants Jae to want him. He tries to push it away, tries to think about how happy he’d been just a month ago when he’d gotten down on one knee in their living room and Ayeon had smiled like he’d shown her the universe as he’d lifted the black, velvet box open to her to reveal a silver ring with a single diamond set in stone. He holds onto that. _Your time has passed. Be happy where you are._ Brian watches as Jae bites nervously on his lower lip, fidgets with the pillow in his lap.

“What I’m going to say shouldn’t change whatever it is that you have going on in your life, alright?” Jae asks carefully.

Brian nods slowly. “I’ll do my best.”

“Okay,” Jae says. “Well. We decided to just be friends because she said that I was still in love with someone else. I mean. I didn’t believe her at first and part of me is still annoyed that even if I did my best, she seemed to know or seemed to detect that. I don’t like feeling like I’m transparent--”

“--was she right?” Brian’s heart is pounding now.

“You remember how you told me to kiss you goodbye and go?”

Brian feels tears starting to sting his eyes. “Yeah--”

“--well, confession: I didn’t kiss you--

“--I was asleep so, I wouldn’t have known--”

“--because I didn’t want to say goodbye.” Jae says, his voice barely above a whisper. “Look, I’m just telling you this to be honest with you but like I said, I don’t want you go around changing things about your life for me. I’m just telling you because I love you very much and I want you to know that but also I respect the people in your life and I respect you so much, Bri. But I’ll probably love you forever--and that’s alright with me.”

“I proposed to Ayeon.”

“Oh.”

“She said yes.”

“I see.”

“Jae--”

“--I’m so happy for you, Bri.” Jae smiles wide but Brian sees the sadness in his eyes. “I’m really, really happy for you guys and I mean you already know this but I’ve always thought Ayeon was perfect for--”  

“--Jae,” Brian says in that quiet, deep voice that Jae realizes he hasn’t heard in years, that he realizes Brian hasn’t spoken to him in in the longest time. He blinks slowly, everything becoming clear to him in the split-second between when he says his name and when Jae looks up to meet his gaze. “I think I have a phone call that I have to make--”

Panic settles over Jae's face.

“--Bri, I told you not to change things around just because--”

“--I think it’s the humane thing to do,” Brian says softly. “I think that if you promise to marry someone but you’re in love with someone else, you should tell them before--”

“--before you marry them?” Jae asks, tears spilling down his cheeks.

Brian smiles softly. “Before you kiss the person you’re in love with which I want to do very, very much at the moment.”

Jae blinks, more tears slipping down his cheeks. “Right. Right cause if you don’t that’s just called being an idiot and cheating.”

Brian grins, his own tears blurring his vision. “Right.”

“Okay. I’ll wait.”

“One last time. Please."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update tomorrow or Sunday :D


	3. 2018, 2020

2018

 

It takes all of twenty minutes but to Jae, the phone call seems to last an eternity. He wipes his palms on the legs of his jeans, readjusts himself on the couch, feels like he’s about to faint or throw up or dissipate into thin air because as sad as a part of him is about the fact that in the other room, over the line, a heart (a kind, compassionate one at that) is breaking, the rest of him is electric with joy, singing with euphoria because his heart is finally, finally full--because in a second, Brian,  _ his _ Brian is going to walk back into the room and they’re finally, after all this time, going to begin. 

Jae closes his eyes, tries to calm himself and breathe slow.

There is the sound of  _ I’m sorry _ being whispered softly into a phone--and then soft footsteps on the hardwood floor, the creaking open of a door, and there he is, all dark hair and intense gaze, looking at Jae like he’s the only thing in the world that matters. 

To Brian, he is. 

“Hey,” Jae says, smiling weakly. “How did it go?”

Brian walks toward him, sits next to him, putting a hand on his knee. 

“As one might expect.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Brian shakes his head, lifts his gaze to meet Jae’s, a small smile playing on his lips. “It’s not your fault.”

Jae moves a hand slow but steady toward Brian’s before taking his hand slowly, kissing his palm. 

Brian moves his hand to stroke Jae’s cheek. 

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting.” 

Jae smiles. “Let’s stop being sorry and work on just being together already, can we?”

Brian laughs, nodding as he leans in to brush Jae’s hair away from his face. 

“Yeah let’s do that.” 

And with that, he closes the distance between them in a kiss: forceful but tender, all at once gentle and deep, the culmination of years of waiting--Brian feels the small hairs on the backs of his arms stand as he parts Jae’s lips, licks into his mouth slow and slick; Jae sighs into the kiss, all of him overwhelmed at how safe and warm and broad and sure Brian feels. Hands reaching for places they hadn’t dared to go in the years past: undoing buttons, pulling at zippers, tugging at cloth to find each other. 

When they make love that night on the four-poster bed with the canopy’s fabric drifting in the evening breeze, leaving the moonlight to illuminate them, the night, they both marvel at how new and familiar everything feels--how it’s both hot and heavy and sweet and tender. When Brian pushes into Jae, trying to keep it soft, trying not to cause him pain, he’s taken aback at how eager Jae is, how pliant under his touch. And when Jae runs his hands down Brian’s back, when he nips softly at the thin skin of his neck, when he sifts his fingers through Brian’s hair and moans his name with want, he’s surprised at how vulnerable Brian is, how reactive and gentle, how much his sighs sound like an apology, a pledge of love, a way of making up for all of the years they’d lost so far, all of the pain and wanting and waiting for each other to finally, finally be ready. 

And after, they hold each other close the way they had in their old dorm room before graduation, before they’d had to leave the first time. In the blue-silver moonlight, Brian traces the outline of Jae’s face with a finger like he had that old photograph still kept in his favorite book: back then, to remember, this time, to keep. Jae grins at him, pinning him to the bed before planting the softest of kisses on his lips.

Brian blinks up at him. 

Jae grins. “That one’s for the opposite of good-bye.” 

  
  


2020 

 

The train doors open. Jae slings his work bag over one shoulder, holding the take out bags with one hand and his phone in another. The cool September air hits him as he steps onto the platform. He slides his thumb over the green button on the screen, holds the phone up to his ear. 

“Babe?” Jae walks through the gate, scanning his metrocard, jogging up the steps, taking them two at a time. 

“Hey.” Brian’s voice comes in through the receiver. “Where are you?” 

Jae grins. “Just getting off the train. You?” 

“Already home. Hurry up. I miss you already.” 

Even through the line, Jae can hear him smiling. 

“You’re so clingy.” Jae feigns annoyance as he crosses the street, inputs the code into their apartment building. 

“You love it.”

Jae grins as he gets into the elevator. “Guilty as charged.” 

All day at the magazine, he’s looked forward to coming home--to their cozy one-bedroom apartment where he knows Brian is going to be standing at the kitchen table, making them coffee, playing one of their old vinyls in the background--maybe something by the Beatles or Birdy or Bon Iver or Corrine Bailey Rae. Brian, safe and warm and laughing: all broad hands and bright smile, playful eyes and shoulders to rely on, all of his wishes come true, his bestfriend, the love of his life. 

The door opens before Jae can fit the key into the lock and he throws his arms around Brian, who pulls him in by his scarf, grinning as their noses collide, as their lips meet in a soft kiss. 

“God, Brian,” Jae says, pushing Brian into the apartment and closing the door behind him. “Get a grip--”

Jae stops short as he realizes the entire apartment is filled with fairy lights, that soft music is playing in the background, that the kitchen table (usually littered with an assortment of their books and magazines) is dressed up with white table cloth, a small candle burning in the middle of it. Brian grins as he watches Jae’s expression. 

“Happy anniversary.” 

“Jesus.” Jae’s gaze falls on the covered plate of food on the kitchen counter, a wave of panic coming over him. He holds up the takeout bags. “But I brought us chicken from our fav--

“--I know. I cooked something to go with it.”

Jae grins as he peels off his coat, unloops his scarf from around his neck, tosses them onto the couch. Brian takes the take out bags from him, starts to set up the containers on the kitchen table. He nods at Jae to sit down. 

“Let’s eat.”

Jae takes a seat, carefully lifts the cover on his plate and when he sees what Brian’s cooked, his heart floods with joy, with love: on the plate are two imperfect, semi-roundish waffles, cooked golden brown and toasty around the edges the way they both enjoy. When he looks up through teary eyes, Brian’s grinning at him. 

He’s about to open his mouth to say it but Brian beats him to it.

“I waffles you still.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really shouldn’t have written this while listening to Still. I’m emo. xD Thank you guys for reading! I have more Jaehyungparkian AUs to come for comeback season. 
> 
> Twitter/Curious Cat: @teenuviel1227
> 
> Don’t forget to vote for our boys on MCountdown!!! 
> 
> Here is a link to a tutorial if you’ve never done it before: https://goo.gl/ZA91ut


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